


Delicate

by hurricaneharmony



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 13:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1819939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricaneharmony/pseuds/hurricaneharmony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>It’s not that we’re scared,</i><br/><i>It’s just that it’s</i><br/>delicate.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not that she’s <i>scared</i> of him, or even of <i>them</i>-it’s just that it’s... delicate. This... this thing they have is so fragile, so good, and with the chaos of her life she wants to tiptoe around this, keep it safe, incubate it with more quiet, warm, soft nights in the dark like this one.</p><p>It's just that... <i>she's scared.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Delicate

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos, feedback is always, always appreciated! :) Or talk to me at colourfulmoniker-hook.tumblr.com  
> Hope you enjoy!

> _"It’s not that we’re scared,_
> 
> _It’s just that it’s_
> 
> _delicate.”_

_“Killian.”_

Her voice is barely a breath, but it grates against the silence of the room, and she’s so afraid. It’s not that she’s scared of him, or even of this warmth and openness with him- it’s just that it’s… _delicate._ This… this _thing_ they have is so fragile, so _good_ , and with the chaos of her life she wants to tiptoe around this, keep it safe, incubate it with more quiet, warm, soft nights in the dark like this one. 

His answering hum vibrates in his chest under her cheek as his arm tightens around her, fingers smoothing over her waist, and her heart aches because this is so _good_ , and good things never last so she wants this moment to drag on as long as possible. 

But she’s spent so long living in the past, and during those times lived only for the _now_ \- with everything casual and careless and so _empty_ \- and now she aches for a _future._ It’s so close but just out of reach, and sometimes she can catch glimpses of it before it slips away. _(Henry laughing with a nameless, faceless child sitting on his shoulders, a warm, calloused thumb caressing her knuckles, a kiss pressed to her temple as her fingers smooth over a wisp of downy hair on the bundle cradled in her arms. These pieces of_ forever _make her heart leap, and she grabs at them greedily when they surface, clinging- but they’re fleeting, always evading her.)_

She doesn’t just want this moment to last forever- she wants a thousand more like it, and all the different moments in between. But with the desire, the yearning that fills her heart and soul comes equal parts of fear. _(You haven’t known each other long- he’ll get tired of you eventually. Neither of you even know how to be a part of anything._ Never _forget that seventeen year old girl against a yellow wall- smiling and giddy and confident and so in love, so naive, so blind to the fact that this love would ruin her in_ three, two, one. _)_ No matter how much she loves him, she’ll push him away as some twisted way of asking him to come back to her _(he always does)_ \- and one day she’ll push him until he breaks, and he can’t or _won’t_. She’s so afraid, and so content in this moment, and so hopeful for more. 

Everything’s safer in the night- the daylight is exposing and scrutinizing and she knows that whatever _this_ is can’t survive in that atmosphere. She knows that whatever part of her that he is healing in the shadows _(with kisses peppered over her lips, neck, the hollows under her hipbones, with gentle words and promises, with blue,_ blue _eyes that take on a certain soft shade when he says her name)_ is still fragile, still snaps in the light. She’s so afraid, but he deserves so much more _(because he should be able to feel the way he makes her feel, like the moon and stars were something he made for her, but for him she hung them in the sky so everyone could know that it was him- that he is talented and heroic and so_ good _)_ , deserves to get a warning, deserves to understand when she can’t stop a life-long instinct to _run._ She’s so afraid, but when his head dips down to kiss her hair, she opens her mouth again. 

“Tomorrow, I’ll probably be gone when you wake up.” 

His fingers tighten on her waist, and she feels his chest deflate with a slow exhale as she turns her cheek further into him, her hand reaching up so just her fingertips catch his. 

“When you come to me, I might be grumpy and cold. I might say that tonight shouldn’t have happened or that it meant nothing. I might refuse to acknowledge it at all.” 

She swallows hard, tipping her head up on his chest to meet his gaze. His eyes are glowing so blue in the faint moonlight, all confusion and hurt- and she can’t help but fully grab his hand, twining their fingers together. 

“I’ll run away from you. If it’s not tomorrow, it’ll be later. It’ll be over and over again.” 

Now he’s pulling them up onto his elbows, and her heart lurches. She has to sit back and look him in the eye as he whispers, 

“What are you saying, Swan? Does any of this”- his gaze flicks around the room as his stump arm gestures to the space between them- “mean anything to you?” 

She takes her face in her palms and kisses him slowly, because she has never been good with words and she needs him to understand. When his hand finds its way to her hair she pulls away, pressing her forehead into the crook of his shoulder and neck. 

“I need you to know that when I run, it doesn’t mean anything. That it’s not your fault. And you can’t listen to me when I get like that.” 

She gulps again, her arms around his back, and there’s suddenly a heat behind her eyes, a thickness in her throat as she croaks, 

“It just means I’m scared. To mess up. To lose… _this._ ” 

The first tear falls on his collarbone, warm and making his heart ache as his hand comes up to cradle the back of her head. Her hand trembles against the small of his back, and she’s so afraid, but she continues. 

“I need you to know that I… don’t want you to go. Don’t give up on me.” 

The last words leave her lips as a high whimper, and his arms are suddenly _there_ , as he leans forward into her, his stumped arm around her waist and the other reaching up around her back to grip the hair at the base of her neck. She buries herself into him, all warm and soft and lean muscle and _everything_ \- from love to hope to future to best friend- all so beautiful and so _good_. 

“Oh darling”, he sighs into her hair, and her eyes well up again at the affection in his voice- because it’s everything she never thought she could have. 

“Never, love. _Never_.” 

_fin._


End file.
